


Eye-spionage

by demalore



Category: Wander Over Yonder
Genre: M/M, i mean its emperor awesome we're talking about is that really a surprise, suggestive dialogue but nothing actually happens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-09 09:44:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7796971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demalore/pseuds/demalore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hater sends Peepers to gather info on Awesome.  It goes exactly as well as you'd think.</p><p>Majorly influenced by <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/1941612/chapters/4194936">Roundabout</a> (i.e. made me ship it) so go read that if you want some nice gooey Eyesome instead of this vanilla stuff</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eye-spionage

Peepers had asked Lord Hater countless times to help out more with planning.  Not that Peepers’ plans weren’t flawless and brilliant, but seeing as Lord Hater was the one in charge, it would stand to reason that he should play his part in developing their strategy.  Up until today, Lord Hater had merely brushed aside Peepers’ nagging, claiming that he didn’t have time for ‘nerdy dork stuff’.

Today, Peepers’ prayers had been answered, and he’d come to regret every one of his complaints.

Hater hadn’t even finished laying out his plan before Peepers began voicing his concerns.  “Sir, as much as I appreciate the... _ effort _ , I’m not sure this will-”

“It’ll  _ totally _ work!” Lord Hater insisted, pointing furiously at the screen.  “I did the math and everything!  My plan, just like EVERYTHING ELSE about me, is PERFECT!”

Peepers didn’t see any evidence of ‘math’, or even simple logic, in Hater’s plan.  It was mostly incoherent scribbling, with the addition of a drawing of Lord Hater with enormous muscles in the corner.  Peepers couldn’t be sure that the doodle wasn’t actually part of Hater’s plan, seeing how incoherent the plan already was.

“But is this really necessary, Sir?” Peepers pleaded.  He felt like he was arguing with a steamroller about to flatten him.  There was  _ no way _ he could go through with Hater’s plan.

“Of course it is!” Hater shouted.  “You’re always saying that we need to  _ study _ our enemies to defeat them!  Don’t you  _ want _ to defeat our enemies, Peepers?”

“Y-Yes, Sir, but-”

“Great!” Hater clapped his hands together, silencing Peepers’ stammering.  “So, you just have to get close to Awesome and find some information we can use to destroy him!”

“I-I understand that much, Sir, but is the disguise really necessary?” Peepers asked, his voice even higher than usual.

“Duh!” Lord Hater rolled his eyes.  Hater’s proposed ‘disguise’ was an outfit whose design had clearly been inspired by Emperor Awesome’s trashy groupies.  Just the thought of wearing it made Peepers squeamish.  “This way, Awesome won’t suspect a thing!  It’s foolproof!”

Peepers had run out of arguments, each one easily toppled by Lord Hater’s stubborn idiocy.  Hater’s idea to gather intel on Emperor Awesome wasn’t a bad one on its own, but everything else about his plan was a train wreck of half-baked thinking.  Either Hater really did want to get Peepers killed, or he was even more ignorant than Peepers thought.

Still, it didn’t seem like Peepers had a choice.

 

“PEEPERS! Can you hear me?”

“Loud and clear, Sir,” Peepers winced, adjusting the volume on his earpiece. 

“Are you wearing the stuff I gave you?”

Steeling his will, Peepers turned his gaze downward onto his abomination of an outfit. A lacy pink crop top hung from his narrow shoulders, weighed down by a barrage of clunky turquoise necklaces. Three different belts constricted around his barely noticeable waist, adding a hint of femininity to his form. It was a subtle change, but he was so small that it was actually enough to do the trick. With the tight belts, inch-long skirt, and zigzag leggings, Peepers could almost pass as a girl. If the other person had poor eyesight and the room was dark, maybe. 

“And you're at the right club?” Hater went on through the earpiece hidden in Peepers’ blonde wig. Hater had only supplied the clothes, so the wig had been Peepers’ own touch. It made the disguise a bit more believable, and had the added benefit of hiding the device. He was just glad that Hater hadn’t asked why Peepers had the wig in the first place.

Peepers looked up at the flashy neon sign. An electrified picture of Emperor Awesome pumped its fists in the air. “Yup, this is the place,” Peepers answered, not trying to hide his disappointment. He couldn't believe he was about to walk in  _ there _ dressed like  _ this.  _

_ “ _ Good, now go find Awesome!” Hater ordered, as if it were as easy a task as finding this club. Peepers wasn't even inside yet, but he could tell it would be packed. Peepers almost hoped he  _ wouldn't _ be able to find Awesome, just to save himself the embarrassment of being seen by someone he knew.

“Yes, Sir,” Peepers muttered, stepping bravely toward the front doors. 

An imposing fist fighter guarded the entrance. Peepers found it hard to read his expression, but it felt like he was staring at him.. 

Wobbling forward on his glittery pumps (the only part of the outfit Peepers didn't particularly mind), Peepers reached into his purse for the fake ID Hater had gotten him. 

Before he could even pull it out, though, the fist fighter waved him inside. “You're good. Go right in,” he grunted, nodding his hand-shaped-head to the dark, writhing innards of the club. 

Peepers was too relieved to be taken aback. “Oh, uh, thanks!” he stammered, rushing in to the cool relief of the club’s low lighting. 

The club was loud and busy, but not overbearing or chaotic like Peepers had been expecting.  Between the pulsing lights and the people crowding him in on all sides, Peepers could almost forget what he was doing. It was a little suffocating at first, but his compact size let him navigate the crowds without much trouble. 

Peepers hadn't begun looking for Awesome, but found him anyway, prancing around on the club’s central stage. The crowd was packed tightly around the circular platform, stray limbs flailing out toward the sweat-stained stage. It wasn't even very late yet, but Awesome already appeared to be burning himself out. Peepers could hardly follow his erratic dance moves; Awesome’s shapely arms, legs, and (even Peepers had to admit) behind whipped and spun around the stage to the throbbing beat, a characteristically wide smile on his face the entire time. 

“Yo, Patty Cake, you with Awesome?” someone asked next to Peepers. Another large fist fighter gripped Peepers’ shoulder, and he realized that he was the ‘Patty Cake’ that was being spoken to. 

A fierce blush stained Peepers’ eye. “Yes, I most certainly am!” he snipped, his voice easily cutting through the club’s low din. 

The fist fighter laughed, somehow smiling without any semblance of a mouth. “Hey, hey, no need to be nervous, baby. I hear Awesome likes the shorties, anyway.”  The fist fighter flexed his oversized pinkie. Peepers gathered that it was supposed to be a wink, and became even more flustered. 

“I-I!...I am  _ not!-” _

“Nervous?” the fist fighter finished with a chuckle. “Sure you're not, Shortie. Don't worry, once you get on stage, all your worries will just melt away.”

“Wait,  _ stage?”  _ Peepers shrieked, but the fist fighter was already lifting him up. The eager crowd cut away, leaving a direct path to the stage. Awesome turned in their direction and waggled his eyebrows, dancing his way to meet them. 

Peepers kicked his legs, pulling against the fist fighter’s grip, but couldn't even budge. This was  _ not _ part of the plan! He was just supposed to talk to Awesome for a minute, not dance with him on stage!

Abruptly, Peepers fell to the ground. He turned to run, but only managed to climb onto all fours before slipping back down. He realized with horror that he was already on the stage. There was no escape. 

“Woah, woah, easy there, Inchworm,” Awesome smirked, offering Peepers one of his hands. “The party hasn't even started yet!”

Peepers reflexively took Awesome's hand and wobbled to his feet, the oversized pumps now his enemy. He blinked at the gawking crowd, keeping his hand in Awesome's after he was already standing. There was no way he’d be able to get a word with him now, his only chance would be to wait until after the party. Not like he could back out now, anyway. 

“Flarp right it hasn't,” Peepers said without thinking. “One oversized clownfish isn't much of a party if you ask me.”

Awesome’s leveled eyebrows shot up with surprise, pulling his toothy grin up along with them. “Newbie’s got some  _ fire _ !” he exclaimed with a laugh, sending the crowd into a wave of cheers. Peepers was stunned--didn't he know that was an  _ insult _ , the chum-brained wannabe?!

Awesome pulled his hand from Peepers’ and pushed him toward the center of the stage. “Let’s just see if your moves are as spicy as your mouth.”

Peepers tottered on his pumps, hoping just to regain his balance, much less  _ dance _ . The crowd’s collective gaze froze him where he was, until his battle instincts kicked in. If he didn't dance, he’d be found out, and Grop knew what could happen to him after that. 

Formal dancing was more Peepers’ style, but after years of analyzing the fighting technique of his enemies, copying Awesome’s dancing wasn't too hard. It was mostly improvisation, anyway, and improvisation was something you had to learn when you worked with the capricious Lord Hater. 

Peepers fell into the beat of the heavy, throbbing music, swinging his oversized head back and forth with his legs following close behind. His arms sprung into the air on their own, punching imaginary enemies to the melody. Peepers spun around the dance floor, springing lightly on his feet, evasive maneuvers playing through in his mind. 

Peepers’ makeshift dance carried him on its own, conquering the stage that was once Awesome’s, until he ran into what felt like a wall. The shark man, completely unmoved by the force of Peepers’ impact, raised the commander to his face, trapping him in one of his smug, flirty-eyed looks. 

“Pace yourself, Pinto Bean,” Awesome said scoldingly, although his expression was nothing if not pleased. “You’ve got a whole night to dominate this stage.  How ‘bout sharing a little of it with me?”

A handful of Awesome’s groupies took to the stage. Peepers stood completely still, watching them take their positions and slowly begin dancing, like clockwork. Only now that he wasn’t dancing did Peepers notice that the crowd had been cheering, no,  _ screaming _ ...for him?

Peepers would admit, almost proudly, that he didn't ‘do' parties. They were loud, uncomfortable, and most of all, purposeless. If he wanted to relax, he’d spend a quiet night with himself and perhaps something to read. He had certainly never come to a club like this before with the intention of having a good time. 

But now...just then, he had been  _ enjoying _ himself. For once he wasn't thinking, just  _ doing,  _ letting his instincts take over. Sweat was beading on his eye, but he couldn't remember ever feeling more relaxed. 

Awesome and his groupies had begun dancing together, each one an integral part in what was evidently a planned routine. Peepers glanced off the stage, wondering if he was supposed to leave, when Awesome tossed his pointed head in his direction, beckoning Peepers to the center of the stage, where he was standing. 

Peepers scurried over, adrenaline gushing back through his arteries. Awesome began the dance again slowly, giving Peepers time to learn the moves, until he was moving just as fluidly as Awesome.  Peepers kicked his little legs and shimmied his little shoulders with abandon, not even minding the gaudy outfit anymore. He kept Awesome in the side of his vision, syncing his body with the Emperor’s, feeling strangely secure this close to one of his mortal enemies. It was as if Commander Peepers still stood at the entrance, holding on to all his anxieties and doubts, as someone new let loose on stage next to Awesome.

Time melted into a technicolor puddle, endless energy urging Peepers forward through the night, despite his impassioned dancing. Peepers couldn't hear anything over the club’s constant music, not even Hater’s voice buzzing in his ear. 

 

When the music died, so did Peepers--or at least, the confident, dance-crazy Peepers. His nerves returning to him, he looked to Awesome, who had also stopped dancing. His groupies clustered around him, and Peepers swore they were all staring at him. 

“Wh-what’s going on? Party over already?” Peepers asked with only a shred of his former confidence. 

“No way, Cake Pop,” Awesome assured, sliding a finger under Peepers’ chin. “‘S gettin’ late, though, so we gotta take this party to my pad. That cool?”

“Your..ship?” Peepers breath caught in his throat. He’d  _ really  _ be trapped if Awesome lured him there, he had to stay somewhere where there were other people. “Wh-why don't we just stay here?”

“These losers are all Awesomed out,” Awesome observed, watching the crowd gradually thinning out. “But  _ you’re  _ still down to party, aren't you?”

Peepers gulped. His choices were to either back down and return quietly to the Skullship, or to follow Awesome in order to complete his mission. Hater would be furious if he returned with nothing after all these hours, and who was to say he’d ever get this opportunity again?

“F-fine,” Peepers agreed, slapping Awesome’s obtrusive finger away from him. “But only for a minute. You’re probably getting tired, r-right?”

“Negaroony, cutie, I could go all night,” Awesome smirked, lightly pushing Peepers off the stage. Peepers half-fell forwards, noting irritably that Awesome’s hand had fallen a bit too low for his liking.

Peepers kept a hands-free distance between himself and Awesome on the way to his stretch limo. It wasn't until Peepers was halfway inside that he noticed that the groupies had disappeared, probably off to places where they  _ weren't  _ likely to get mauled by a shark. 

“J-just us?” Peepers trembled, one foot inside the limo, neck craned to look up at Awesome.  Peepers was pushed forward again, and this time there was no mistaking where Awesome had meant to put his hand. Peepers fell forward into the limo, and the door was closed before he could get back up. 

“Just you and me, baby,” Awesome purred, shrugging off his fur-trimmed cape. Peepers shuddered as Awesome ran his thick tongue over his pointed teeth, moving from one corner of his gaping mouth to the other. 

Peepers was breathing hard now, his mind racing for an exit strategy. He could ask to go to the bathroom, but that’d only be a temporary fix. Should he run? No, he was too exhausted from dancing to outrun his much larger opponent. 

Desperate thinking kept Peepers in place as Awesome came closer, still fixing Peepers with his sultry eyes. “After all you did on the dance floor, I can't wait to see what  _ else _ you can do, my little showstopper.”

Two beefy arms slammed down on either side of Peepers. He jumped, almost high enough to hit Awesome, who was looming over him closely. “You may have upstaged me at the club, but I'm about to bring the house down,” his voice grew low, his lips puckered. 

“I’M NOT A GIRL!” Peepers shouted, eye squinted shut, arms raised to protect it. 

An awful silence passed through the small space between them. Peepers waited for fists or teeth, but was only struck with a blast of laughter as Awesome doubled over in hysterics. Peepers stayed frozen where he was. 

“Took ya long enough, Peepsqueak,” Awesome managed to say through his laughter, ruined makeup bleeding from his eyes. 

“You  _ knew?!?”  _ Peepers shrieked, feeling suddenly naked although he still (thankfully) had all of his clothes on. 

“Bro, how could I  _ not?”  _ Awesome said, still shaking and snickering at Peepers. “First of all, you didn't really think you could pass as one of my crew, did you?  Your wig doesn't even hide your helmet, man.”

Peepers self-consciously ran a finger down the exposed lightning bolt, cursing himself for not seeing this glaring flaw in his disguise. 

“So, what, then?” Peepers demanded, his voice getting louder as his face got redder. “You wanted to humiliate me before you destroy me? Is that was this is?”

“Humiliate you?” Peepers couldn't remember ever seeing Awesome without his toothy grin. He almost looked...concerned? “You telling me you didn't have fun tonight, bro? ‘Cuz if you didn't, you're the best flarpin’ actor I've ever seen.”

Before Peepers got a good look at Awesome without his smile, it returned, larger than ever. “Now, as for the part about  _ destroying _ you-”

“How long did you know?” Peepers asked, only half-hearing what Awesome was suggesting. 

“Whole time, bro. I’m the only guy Hater knows who could hook him up with a fake.  Just told the bouncer to look out for a one-eyed dork and that was that.”

“Guess  _ that _ didn't work for you,” Peepers scoffed. Criticizing Awesome probably wasn't the smartest thing for him to be doing right now, but it was the only familiar ground he had at the moment. “That guy let me right in!”

“Yeah, like I  _ told _ him to,” Awesome said slowly, staring at Peepers like  _ he _ was the moron. 

Peepers’ brain stopped working. All logic had been thrown out of the limo’s tinted windows. Stupid as Awesome was, he knew something Peepers didn't. 

“Why?” Peepers asked simply. 

Awesome laughed again, a single, dry chuckle instead of the rolling fit he had had before. He rose off of Peepers, dusting off his skintight pants.

“When else would I ever get the chance to chill with you, dork?” he asked, extending a hand down to Peepers. 

Peepers chewed these words slowly, considering Awesome's outstretched hand for a second before taking it. Just like before, except this time there was no stage, no crowd, no mission. 

Wait, his mission! He had been gone for ages by now, he couldn’t return with nothing! “Don't suppose you could, ah, tell me your greatest weakness or something?” he joked flatly. 

Awesome smirked. “Weaknesses? I’d have to say party poopers, folk music, and nerds like you. That good enough?”

Peepers eyelid curled into an imitation of Awesome's smirk. “Yeah, that'll do.”

 

“I'm sorry, Sir, the battery must’ve worn out.”

“But I was trying to talk to you  _ all night! _ ” Hater insisted, waving a fried walkie talkie in Peepers’ face. “What in Grop’s name were you doing for  _ five hours?” _

Peepers leg twitched involuntarily. “Gathering intel, like you said.”

“Oh yeah?” Hater said skeptically, “and what’d you find out, huh?”

“I found out Awesome’s weakness!  It’s, er,” Peepers fought back a blush at the memory, wishing he had planned for this on the way back to the Skullship. Needless to say, his mind had been on other things.

“Green lightning and rock music,” Peepers spat out. 

Hater grinned, and Peepers let out the breath he hadn't known he’d been holding. “Really? That's great!” Hater said. “Okay, so tonight we can-”

“Actually,” Peepers interjected, “I was planning to go get more information tonight…”

Hater was taken aback.  “Uh, no, that's okay, I think we probably have enough…”

“Can't ever have too much!” Peepers said chipperly. “Besides, your plan was  _ so _ good, why not do it twice?”

Realizing that he couldn’t argue with that, Hater harrumphed, “Yeah, fine, whatever. But don't be out so late again!”

“Yes, Sir!” Peepers agreed readily, although he wasn't sure he’d be able to make good on that promise. 

 

Different club that night, but similar enough for Peepers to relax the moment he arrived. Hater had seen him off, so he was wearing the disguise again, but this time he had brought his normal clothes to change back into. He entered the club wearing his slick black uniform and tall, proud helmet. The only items missing from his everyday ensemble were his red boots, which tonight were replaced with last night’s pumps. 

Awesome was already on stage, like expected, dancing as if the night were ending in just a few minutes. Peepers made a beeline for the stage, the day's exhaustion evaporating the closer he got. 

Neither he nor Awesome said anything as Peepers joined him onstage, easily slipping into the dance as if he had been there the whole time. Once again, everything fell away except for himself and Awesome, dancing separately but, ultimately, together.


End file.
